My only other birthday request was that we go see the Lion King 3D. This was a really special thing because Jeff and I are lame and never see movies. The Lion King now joins this illustrious collection of films that Jeff and I have seen in theaters in the last 5 years: The Simpsons Movie, The Hangover (released on our -1 anniversary), Pirhanas 3D, and Wall Street 2 (Money Never Sleeps). CLASS ACTS, folks.
I cannot tell you how obsessed I was with the Lion King as a 9 year old. Like, cannot tell you. I think I saw it like 5 times in theaters. Including once when I forced my Grandma to take me, and I caught her sleeping. I was like “Grandma?!?!?!?!? Wh? Huh? HOW ARE YOU SLEEPING THROUGH THIS?! Are you aware of the cinematic achievement WHICH WE ARE BEARING WITNESS TO??! Just…. just……. how could you?!?!!??!?!”
From there, I had a countdown going till video release day. My mom, bless her, I guess went out and got it for me that night, because I distinctly remember being driven home from gymnastics practice that weeknight and knowing it was there waiting for me. People, I remember that car ride. And I remember slipping it out of its puffy Disney case, gingerly placing it into the VCR, hearing the reassuring click and the resulting whirr, and knowing my mind was about to be blown.
[Unintelligible beyond that point]
Tonight was no different. I promptly told Jeff I loved it as much as I did “like, 10 years ago!” Jeff was like “Uhh, I think it came out in 1994.” Crap. Two thousand one was 10 years ago. 1994 was……. (start menu –> calculator)….. (no I honestly did that)…. seventeen years ago. Uhh, oops. Yikes I feel dated.
Anyway. Lion King teaches a child everything he/she will ever need to know about life. Loss! Betrayal! Forgiveness! Redemption! Denial! Nepotism! Ecosystems of the African Savanna! MFing Circle of LIFE, for crying out loud!
And… seduction! Seriously… things you don’t notice as a 9 year old! During “Can You Feel the Love Tonight” I’m sitting there going “BFFFFFT what is that!? OMG! Lewd!”
And Fig. B, a little subtler, but there was a brief “tumbling” moment wherein intertwined lion crotches flashed on the screen… baha!
No really, it is a seriously fantastic movie. I spent another Saturday morning with the National Zoo lions over the weekend, (Wanna touch my pelt?!), and they are just THE craziest, most beautiful creatures. Like not to take an abrupt and awkward turn into Seriousville, but to me there is no clearer evidence of a “maker” than these guys…
Our patriarch Luke! (Photo Credit)
Otay. Now if you’ll pardonez moi… I’m off to order this DVD!!