Blurbs

Hooters.  Ok, you guys know I don’t talk politics here, except in jest.  Which I need to do more of, because the government does HILARIOUS stuff on a regular basis and nobody ever finds out about it.  Which is both a shame and a blessing, I guess.  Occasionally, though, I have to give credit where it’s due and acknowledge something cool that tax dollars paid for.  Usually all I can come up with is the library.  But yesterday– oh, sweet yesterday– the Pennsylvania legislators won my heart by declaring April 30 Hooters Appreciation Day.

No, not that Hooters or those Hooters, although appreciation days for both would be awesome as well, but rather The Hooters, an immensely talented group of rockers from Philadelphia, who you probably know for All You Zombies and And We Danced.  Pennsylvania does a lot of things well, but producing quality musicians is not one of them.  Behind the Hooters our next claims to fame I guess would be Fuel, Train, and Taylor Swift.  BLECH.

Now the exciting thing was that the Hooters themselves played a FREE CONCERT in honor of this.  Did I take my 3.5 month old infant to this?

(I was very disappointed to find this image had not yet been created, so I would like the record to state that I created this myself for the good of the internet, and it’s scary how much pride I have in this fact.)

Guys, it was so awesome.  Frogson rode along in his little wrap (I needed my hands to make rock fingers, duh) and he loved it.  We sang and bounced to the beat and I wasn’t kidding, rock fingers were involved. I loved it.  I love live music so so much.  I mean I know that’s a dumb remark, because duh, we all do, but yea.  I’m afraid to say I am in fact That Girl from your section who is dancing and high pitch wooing and screaming lyrics and generally UNABLE to contain herself.  I cannot help it, I get so freaking excited.  So that was that.

Speaking of Pennsylvania.  I cannot believe we are almost a year into our move up here! Things move a little slower up here, and it’s kind of refreshing.  Today I’d like to tell you about the Dunkin Donuts drive thru. God, I’m sorry, this is absolutely the crappiest boringest most rambling post ever, I’m sorry.  Just save yourself and go do something else and let me just sit here and work through this.

I’ve never really been conditioned to utilize drive thrus.  In DC, they just didn’t really exist.  In DC you get really, really excited if a place just has parking spots.  Then you get REALLY excited if there’s actually enough spots that you can find one without getting into a freaking MMA throw down with another motorist.  Here in PA, you can get what you want and you don’t even have to get out of your car.  SEDENTARY LIFESTYLE YOU’RE DOING IT RIGHT!

I now go to the Dunkin drive thru for most of my mocha needs.  Sorry Starbucks, you require walking (THE HORROR) and a whole extra dollar for the same product.  The one thing I hate about Dunkin is they ask you “Will that be all?” after you order.  I guess this is exactly why business experts require customers to be asked this, because the question DOES leave this big open door for you to ask for what you really want.  Because they did ask.   Yes three dozen munchkins you can meet me at the second window and shove them straight down my gullet  yes that will be all.

Not Speaking of Acronyms But Let’s Go Ahead and Do That.  I’ve had acronyms on the brain lately.  Actually I’ve been investing a lot of mental anguish over acronyms.  Why, as a human species, can we not GET THE HANG OF acronyms already?! I get that you want to come up with a cool acronym for your business or organization or whatever, but sometimes you just have to admit a difficult truth to yourself.  I can’t make this acronym work.  I need to walk away.  WALK AWAY, PEOPLE.

If you’re just mashing nouns and adjectives together in a grammatical hot mess that actually makes no sense at all, YOU NEED TO STOP RIGHT NOW.  Do you know how many DUMB acronyms were shoved down my throat in middle school because some idiot PhD somewhere said they were a helpful tool to help middle schoolers think critically? They aren’t.  There is nothing easy or helpful about all the times I was told to “Kids, it’s easy, just think SOLVE! Strategize Organize Leverage Venn diagram Estimate!” Here, I am going to make my own acronym for this phenomenon.  It’s called your acronym is a STRETCH.  Stop Tacking Random Expressions Together Cause it’s Heinous.

Related: I drove by a place called Inspire Female Athletic Training.  Do the acronym math on that one.

Please Hug Your Pets in Honor of my Stray Cat Friend.  OK, I am like 400 kinds of worked up over this.  Guys, my stray cat got hit by a car.  In our neighborhood, which is ridiculous because there’s no reason to go over 20 in our neighborhood, and in 9 out of 10 cases that is plenty slow enough to hit the brakes for a cat.  I don’t know why I am depressing all of you with this, I think I just need to type through it or whatever.  I was oddly attached to this cat, and Jeff is lucky it didn’t love me back because that thing would have been in our house right now.
And when his little pile of food remained uneaten on our stoop (shattering my heart every time I saw it), I realized that the second stray cat must be gone too.  My heart breaks thinking that these cats lived their lives without ever snuggling on a warm bed or receiving a purr-worthy throat scratch.  I can only hope they have gone to somewhere happy, to the Great Cardboard Box in the Sky, where they will know warmth and love and endless supplies of tuna.  Please give your pets a snuggle in their honor, and forgive me one holier than thou PSA as I encourage everyone to please rescue your next furry friend.

I hate to end on a sad note so here is our own resident rescue beagle, surveying Turnpike vistas like the stately little fur-gentleman he is…

Oh Chooch

I swear to you neither of these are staged…

Tummy time…

And the most perfect Up Dog pose there ever was.  So perfect that I am showing you my living room in a messy moment.

Wait For :49

I already tweeted this; sorry if this is a dupe for you. It cracks me up… I can’t help myself!

Another Fan of the Legless Nightgowns…

Easy beagle access to delectable baby butt scents!

 

Hi

Oh gosh.  Do I need to say something about the election? I’d rather not.  I’ll just tell you that I went above and beyond my civic call of duty and served all morning as a poll watcher, where hilarity of course ensued.  I seriously stood there in complete silence just checking off names of people who came to vote, and was still heckled by one crazy broad who accused me of election fraud, unlawfulness, and altering the outcome of an election.  All her actual words.  And why I am reminded one more time that I just need to stay the heck out of this entire process.  The most chuckle-worthy thing that happened was that one elderly gentleman walked in wearing a Kappa Kappa Gamma baseball hat.

The most important news coming out of yesterday was rather that our area’s new Chipotle is now open.  I cannot tell you how joyful of an event this is.  Cannot tell you.  I want to stick my face in that guac.

Anyway, less politics and burrito bols.  Here is Chooch helping load the dishwasher (his favorite activity ever).  He is an excellent quality control professional in that he likes ensuring that each spoon is very well rinsed/licked prior to its cleaning.

World, I Present to You the Cutest Thing You Will See This Geological Epoch

OK, I know I am mildly obsessed with Chooch and have probably made this claim already… but SRSLY people check out these pictures of him in a life jacket and tell me your corneas aren’t exploding from the cuteness.  If you don’t agree with me, your heart is obviously a chunk of bituminous coal.  (Yes, the drive to New York through the 81 corridor served as an excellent refresher of my middle school coal education.  Holler if you too are a product of Pennsylvania public schools and can name 5 different kinds of coal).

Chooch Shame

Except for when he’s eating sanitary products and entire tubs of vaseline, Chooch is actually fairly (fairly) well behaved.  Fairly.  The one thing that turns him into a ravenous demonic crack head dog is window treatments.  At the house we just left, he destroyed 3.5 sets of blinds and 1 window pane– so because of him we’re pretty much prepared to be getting about $7.12 back from our security deposit.

We thought we’d be, I don’t know, turning a new leaf with the new house– but apparently it’s true that you can’t teach an old dog to FREAKING QUIT EATING THE BLINDS CHOOCH.

He is lucky that he is so darn sweet and adorable… and that our first reaction was “Well at least we can submit it to Dog Shaming!”

Enjoy the Chooch love and I’ll be back with more soon– although my fan base (AKA my mom) informs me that they are sick of me making that promise only to disappear for another 7 days.  Pinky swear this time!

Spa Chooch

We Are Terrible People

I Think It’s Been Too Long Since I’ve Shoved 135 Photos of my Dog in Your Face

Choocheroo had a big day over the weekend… He attended his very first major league baseball game! Yes that is correct… we braved the famed “Pups in the Park” day at the stadium, and even had the chance to catch up with Chooch’s old buddies from the organization that rescued him from abusive West Virginia hillbilly dog fighting monsters.  Who can DIAF, slowly and painfully, by the way.

People… NOTE his little crossed legs above.  Oh my gah.

Little mister was a quite squirmy and wasn’t entirely comprehending the concept of “For the love of God Chooch just sit in your seat and enjoy this nice baseball game.” Which oddly, some pups excelled at.  Like the one in the background here giving us the side eye.  She seriously just sat in her little seat and hung out.  Unbelievable.