Old House Farewell

So I am like 6 weeks behind on this… but I couldn’t not pay tribute to our beloved house we just left!

I loved this house.  Love at first sight.  It was meant to be.  Everyone in DC knows the key to finding a gem of a rental is refreshing Craigslist every 2 minutes.  I happened to sign on about 30 seconds after this place was posted, and immediately emailed that we were extremely interested, when can we see it, please let me know if anyone tries to rent it before we’re able to see it… general creepy eager beaver stuff.  When we saw it and loved it, we did the second thing everyone in DC knows to do, which is to shove a check into the landlord’s face.  Usually I am leery about any behavior that could be interpreted as groveling, but the house and the neighborhood and the price point made me lose all inhibition.  This effer was ours.

Of course a bunch of other people had the same idea, and I got sad because it’s been my experience that rental wars usually end with me losing out.  Well I guess our competition was made up of bankrupt unemployed violent criminals or something, cause the two of us yahoos were the most promising of the bunch! WOO!

And now that we don’t live there anymore I can even show you the front… stalk away, all you internet creepers!

This was literally the minute we moved out of it… car and truck were packed, keys had been slid back under the door, we were disgusting smelly mid-move messes… but needed a few last pictures!

And here were some inside shots from the last time it was clean before I packed everything up.  It was teeny weeny and there was nothing to it… but I loved it so!

Somehow I missed a picture of this but you remember the writing nook…

Our petite little kitchen! Yea, see that space between where the sink ends and the fridge begins? That was the counter space! I actually kind of acclimated to it and never thought twice; I was also grateful it forced us to live kind of a minimalist kitchen existence.  (No toaster! No microwave! Some straight up Oregon Trail action, I know!).  Anyway, I am in heaven now with our new expansive counters and will never take them for granted.  Go hug your counters, everyone.

Heading upstairs…

The hallway upstairs was actually my favorite place in the house I think.  Since we only had 3 rooms and a bathroom, I went out of my way to give the hallway some character and make it its own little space.  Or I tried at least.  The runner up there was another favorite thing of mine (that we don’t have a space for in the new house… SOB).  Bummed I didn’t manage a picture of it; you can see a little corner below…

And lastly the bedroom…

That’s all there is to it! Sorry for the snoozefest, just wanted to document it officially.  It has a very special place in my heart.

From the Weekend

I don’t need nice things.  Just give me a few warm, sunshine-y months with a deck to sit on, and I’m good.

You know it’s a beautiful weekend when material like this is coming out of your crappy blackberry camera…

And if a boat can somehow be worked into the equation? HEAVEN.  OK I take that back about nice things.  Boats are not the worst.

I Think It’s Been Too Long Since I’ve Shoved 135 Photos of my Dog in Your Face

Choocheroo had a big day over the weekend… He attended his very first major league baseball game! Yes that is correct… we braved the famed “Pups in the Park” day at the stadium, and even had the chance to catch up with Chooch’s old buddies from the organization that rescued him from abusive West Virginia hillbilly dog fighting monsters.  Who can DIAF, slowly and painfully, by the way.

People… NOTE his little crossed legs above.  Oh my gah.

Little mister was a quite squirmy and wasn’t entirely comprehending the concept of “For the love of God Chooch just sit in your seat and enjoy this nice baseball game.” Which oddly, some pups excelled at.  Like the one in the background here giving us the side eye.  She seriously just sat in her little seat and hung out.  Unbelievable.

Nature=Cool

The view from the Southwest waterfront last night…

The Perils of Sharing Metro Trains with Middle Schoolers

Top things I dislike about DC: #2.  Tourists.  #1.  Middle school tourists.

Top thing I like about DC: incredible, state-of-the-art Smithsonian museum system (and zoo) provided free to the world by generous taxpayers, donors, and companies who value science, history, and education.  It would take you a week to visit all of them, yet when 7th graders come down for 2 days, where are they spending 5 hours of their trip? THE MALL.  No, not the National Mall, I mean the FOOD COURT mall.  Where instead of free learning opportunities, they get to squander their parents’ money buying age inappropriate stripper attire at Wet Seal.

My home has the misfortune of sharing a metro stop with the mall so I spend a great deal of time with these wily little beasts.

From today’s commute:

Demon Middle Schooler: Guys we need to sing happy birthday to Kelly.  Let’s do it RIGHT NOW!
Other Demon Middle Schooler: Yes, yes, yes! (lolololol)
Are these 15 girls seriously about to screech happy birthday on this train? No.  NO.  SWEET GOD NO. [Worried looks exchanged between adult passengers]
Sensible Middle Schooler: No, guys, come on, don’t do that.
Her! Yes! Listen to her! SHE WISE CHIEF!
Demon Middle Schoolers: Haaappp…….
Sensible Middle Schooler: No, for real, not here.
Other Sensible Middle Schooler: We’re not with them…
Demon Middle Schoolers: ppppppppyyyyyy…….
YOU KEEP THAT UP AND I WILL CUT ALL OF YOU
Demon Middle Schoolers: Biiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrr…………

End of narration.  I left train.

And yes, get off my damn lawn, turn down the music, etc etc etc.  I’m a proud curmudgeon on this.  On behalf of all of DC, more chaperones.  PLEASE.

The Frazzledom… It Continues

Y’all get a bonus dose of my neuroticism today! I meant to spend this last waking hour working on a work thing but APPARENTLY Windows Movie Maker files don’t transfer between computers, so instead it’s blog-whining and hopefully making it into the office early (whine).

OK, first, semi-related, in case there are readers out there who are DC-based and dabble in the administrative arts, let me tell you about the piece of knowledge which will be a game-changer for your world.  The best kept secret in this town is that there is a super secret NINE P.M. UPS pick-up on L Street between 19th and 20th.  GOD BLESS THE 9:00 PM UPS PICK UP.  Seriously.  Look for the liquor store on said block, walk back the alley next to it, you will find a UPS loading dock with a flock of very kind gentlemen more than happy to throw your shipment on the outgoing truck.  I swear on Chooch’s life that is the absolute truth and not an internet scheme wherein I collaborate with bad guys to lure you into an alley by a liquor store.

After my emergency UPS run I simply could not bear the thought of spending another hour trying to get home via my usual commute.  (Plus I was hysteric thinking of poor Chooch who hadn’t been out in 9 hours).

(Is it possible for me to write A PARAGRAPH without bringing up the darned dog? NO.  OBVIOUSLY.)

Do you ever reach that level of frazzledom where money is no object and you would pay $4,961 to make your life easier for 5 minutes? That was me tonight.  I indulged in a massive diva move and hailed a cab to transport me home.

Omigod my brain was so frazzled by that point.  All I wanted was to tell the person my intersection and space out for 10 glorious minutes.  Except I get into the car and first the guy is like “You can get in but I don’t have any change!!! Ahahaha!!” He didn’t actually laugh me.  He was very professional.  But in that moment, my brain believed that the Universe was speaking through him and the message was 1) How about next time you be less lazy, you imbecilic slug and 2) AHAHAHAHA!

Eff.  See above statement.  This was going to be a $20 joy ride and I was OKAY with that.  THEN I give the guy my intersection and Little Mister says “OK, so I just take the Memorial bridge?”

I DON’T KNOW DUDE! This is why I pay you the big bucks! OK, obviously, I know how to get home but I cannot tell you how worthless my brain was at that moment.  I mean, my brain is generally worthless when it comes to directions.  This is my NINTH year living here and these are the places I can drive to without getting lost: home, my office, the zoo, GW, and The Mecca Known As the Shopping Center Where Target and Michaels Live.

As a rule, I just assume any given cab driver knows everything or at least, like, 100 times more than I do.  Like, if I got into the car and a Ficus Tree was driving it would know more than I do.  So when he inquired about the bridge I was sort of just like “Uhhhhhh yea sure.”  Honestly I cannot keep track of DC bridges.  They all have like 3 names.  It’s such crap.  Here is how they are categorized in my mind:

Roosevelt Bridge=The one on the left
Key Bridge= The traffic-y one
Memorial Bridge=The one with the lion statues
14th Street Bridge=The one on the right
South Capitol Street Bridge=OH GOD OH GOD U TURN NOW

So, of course, he took a weird turn and immediately I knew I consented to the wrong stupid bridge. (The one with the lion statues is not the one that takes me home.  EFF YOU LIONS!).  Whatever.  It was a flat rate anyway.

The story doesn’t really have an interesting ending, I’m sorry.  Then I got home and Chooch was so excited he jumped high enough that he BIT ONTO MY HAIR.  Omigod.  (PS I went, like, 3 paragraphs without talking about the dog).

Tummy ache.  Going to sleep.  Becker out!

Photo Dump

Once upon a time in 2007 I was walking down the street and discovered a hot dog laying discarded on the sidewalk.  No bun.  No hot dog accoutrements in sight.  Just… a lone frank.  I don’t know why things like this crack me up, but if I had to define my sense of humor with one example, it would be that I find things like hot dogs on the sidewalk to be massively lol-worthy.

I took a picture of it with my awesome Samsung flip phone and up it went on my old blog.  I marveled at my ability to capture this magical processed meat moment with cell phone camera technology, which if you recall was just starting to get decent at that point.  Today, I am no less in awe of this amazing novelty that allows you to document life’s small and hilarious moments as they happen.

So following in the proud footsteps of Hot Dog on H Street I bring you…. Pineapple Top at Metro Station:

On that same note, check out this purdy sky from last night…

US Air shuttle + moon…

Check out this sandwich special action from one of my lunch places…

Who wrote this sign? I want to high five them! Loving the exclamation point action… omg yes FRENCH ROLL I share your excitement! WOO!

I already “tweeted” this so sorry for the dup but wanted to make sure errrrryone saw this hot mess driving down the street.

Whatever… the other week the Occupy-ers blockaded our office building and we had to walk up a ramp in the loading dock in the pouring rain…. If you know how clumsy I am, you know how close I was that day to breaking a femur.  So the crazies from the other side can have their day too.  Sigh.

Did you think I’d go this whole time and not put up Chooch pictures?! PSSHH! Here he is loving the Yoga mat…

And performing a beautiful interpretation of a seated twist (with model for perspective)

A Great Direct Mail Specimen

Big news in Northern Virginia, y’all… Next week is Arlington County’s special election for County Board! AWWW yea, giddy up mofos! #soexcitedandIjustcanthideit.

‘CEPT Republican candidate Mark Kelly inadvertently turned me off with this piece of mail.  Note first sentence:

UMM… Mark? Backyard hens? Trolley? Hipster housing programs, whatever the heck that entails? Bike share conspiracy theories? ALL THESE THINGS SOUND AWESOME.

Way to offend a backyard hen voter.  I better get a donut or something from you at my polling place next week.

Tax Dollars At Work

I was searching for a transcript at work today and stumbled on this gem.  James Madison with clocks and swirling cosmos.  Trippy.

Thursday-Sunday Stuff

On Thursday my chick-buddy emailed me at, like, 4:00pm saying that due to a flake-out she had an extra ticket to OAR at 7:00, did I want to go.  Boring Debbie Downer Sarah was all “AHEM you know our policy on weeknight concerts” but Your-Days-to-be-Spontaneous-Are-Numbered Sarah was all “WOOOOO OAR!!!!!”.  Guess who won!

OAR.  What a fun 2005 throw back!

Sunset as seen from the Metro tracks…

This weekend we were back to PA again… Jeff’s side this time. We went to the Preview Party for the Philadelphia Flower Show and it was really cool.  I mean, it was no Farm Show, but pretty cool.

And only one giant curling iron burn was required to make me black tie appropriate… Yay!

OK, I was lol-ing at the judges’ criticisms of the arrangements.  What jerks!

And pretti-tude from the drive home…

The end…