Pinners Gonna Hate

Yep we’re back on Pinterest. 

A bit of background here… last year, the most wonderful, splendid dream came true.  After a lifetime of beyond perfect vision, my eyes went down the crapper and I found out I needed glasses. I have envied glass-wearers FOREVER and was so excited to be officially joining their ranks! I picked out a cute pair with black rims and they’re adorable.  They also instantly give me a false sense of raised intelligence/capability/security.  Like, if I’m feeling overwhelmed I’m all like WHERE ARE MY GLASSES… dig dig dig… plunk on septum…PHEW… OK….I got this now. 

The only bummer is since they’re black, they’re not so good to wear with light or bright colored things.  So, when my annual allowance comes up in a few months, I’m lusting after some hot tortoise frames! YEA! And, OK, to be honest, the ones that I’m kind of in love with are of the oversized, librarian, and–dare I say– HIPSTER variety.  Yea, I know.  It makes no sense.  I couldn’t help falling in love.  My mind said no but my heart said yes.

So, off I went to Pinterest to round up some glasses porn.  And that is when I found this beauty…

Hot right!? So I pinned it, duh, and since the darn thing MAKES you type a description in, I added, without much thought, “Could I ever pull this off?! Unclear…” Shortly thereafter I started getting email notifications that people had commented (which I didn’t even know you could do), and I checked back to find…

So that first commenter is my very sweet zoo colleague.  I was so flattered!  The second person? I DO NOT KNOW HER! But this person,  having consulted my profile picture I guess, has determined these glasses are not for me.  HA! WTF, lady?! Who feels the need to crush the dreams of an internet stranger?! I mean, to be clear, I am not remotely offended (and do appreciate her candor in a way), it’s mostly hilarious, I just can’t imagine popping in on a stranger and responding to their rhetorical-but-als0-sort-of-looking-for-affirmation-question with a “Girl you be TRIPPING!” remark.  Oh and I love the “lol” thrown in at the end to soften the blow.  Like, you can say anything you want because when you tack on that magical acronym, you’re only joking! Lighten up!

Also, can I just say in my defense, the picture in question is of a chick with a comparable face shape, in a pony tail, with dainty earrings, wearing some kind of purple top.  Wow.  Earth shattering.  NOT unlike what you might find a normal person like me in.  Except, you know, she’s obviously some kind of movie star, whereas I’ve tripped on sidewalk cracks every day this week and walked around with lettuce in my teeth today.  Still, I don’t think it’s THAT far out of my league, not like I am aspiring to…

THAT?! Come on! I know I have a while to go before I can graduate to thick bangs and thrift store dresses (not that I’m really finding much appealing about this), but a chick has to start somewhere?! Sheesh!

Anyhoo.  The internet never fails to entertain me.  Oh, and if you’re interested in weighing in on my glasses dilemma, I promise I can take it

Anthropologie: My Fickle Mistress

I am so undecided as to my relationship with Anthropologie.  Some things I see and I’m like GET ON MY PERSON.  Now.  And other things I’m like Wait…….. what? The weird stuff really comes out to play in their catalog.  I am such a fan of the random beds made of twigs they pawn for $4,000. 

So, the other day I bid on a cheapo pre-owned Anthro dress from Ebay.  Why did I feel compelled to do this? Because I don’t feel like going to the dry cleaners to launder the clothes I already own.  God I HATE dry cleaning.  It is, like, the ULTIMATE injustice because here you are, you bought nice clothes for work, you think the expenditure is over, and all the sudden you’re being charged on a regular basis to actually wear the clothes.  Obviously, fixed expenses suck, but dry cleaning is the absolute worst of them all.

So what ends up happening is:

I put off dry cleaning → I end up doing it on, like, a quarterly basis → each trip costs me $100+ which FURTHER discourages me → my actual nice, cute clothing investments spend 80% of their time in the “to dry clean” bag and 20% in rotation → I go to work wearing fugly machine wash crop pants and tops from Target. 

OR I get fed up and say  to myself Ugh I’m out of clothes.  I don’t have $125 for dry cleaning.  I DO have $30 to buy something random from Ebay! And yes, I am keenly aware of the extremely, extremely flawed logic at play here.  Because despite finding a way to temporarily delay the inevitable, my actual future expenditure has grown to be N=cost to dry clean original items+cost to purchase new item+cost to dry clean new item.  Serenity now.   

And, I get stuck with this, which I am not even entirely sure if I like.  Question A: how do you take these portraits such that it doesn’t feel all Myspace-y? And Question B: is this cute or not!? I love the colors but I felt 10 pounds heavier today.  Those ribbon belt thingies are an Anthro staple, but they just never pack the cinching power of a belt with hardware and my waist overpowers them.  Such is the tortured life of the Apple-shaped.    

Harumph.  Thoughts?

PS… Be sure to stick around this week, I have some EPIC crafting on the agenda! Although I’m a day behind since I never made it out tonight for the required project fixings.  Because I was once again lured to Monday trivia night, wherein Jeff and I came in something like fourth to last, which is what you would expect from two people who could only come up with “Bismarck!!” when asked what battleship sank outside Havana in 1898.  Yea.

Pantaloon Friday

What’s an easy and awesome way to transition your outfit from board room to renaissance faire? Tucking your suit slacks into your man-boots! YEA!

Tuck It

So….. style.  I don’t has it.  I am proud that I’ve at least made great strides in the last few years, and I think I am finally ready to declare my “awkward teenage years” over, after having spanned from ages 9-25.  Part of my style inferiority complex is that I am the sister of an actual, certifiable fashion expert.  No joke.  Little sister Gracie went to a four-year art and design school for fashion design.  And graduated.  With one of those latin honors that I can’t even name because I was, like, many GPA tenths away from one.  And is now actually giving “consultations” to people.  You would be intimidated too.  

So, the world has its share of issues.  Political systems are crumbling, nations are quarreling, but here on my little corner of the internet we’re going to talk about…. tucking in and tucking out your shirt. 

I can safely say the last time I tucked my shirt in before this year was probably sometime in the George H.W. Bush administration.  AKA, when I was but a wee cherub and my mom dressed me.  It just was never in my outfit-making skill set.  (No surprise, it’s not very impressive as far as skill sets go).  I guess I have been making up for lost years because all the sudden I am freaking OBSESSED with tucking and belting!  Let’s use today’s casual Friday garb as a case study…

Now, as Obama would say, let me be quite clear.  This illustration is NOT meant to suggest this ensemble is remotely, at all, stylish.  My plain white tee and clearance Old Navy crop pants are not exactly groundbreaking material here.  But, how do we feel about the tuck!? Every time I go in for the tuck, half of me thinks of the Mom Jeans commercial, and the other half thinks… hey it’s like something Julia Roberts would wear in Pretty Woman! On Casual Friday! I have a TOTAL soft spot for fashion circa the 80′s-90′s transition.  That’s bad right? I’m the only one that thinks that?

Whatever.  It’s here to STAY, people! TUCK ON!